Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth Out of Anyone!
4: Advanced Techniques for Getting the Truth
David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
Excerpts from "Never
Be Lied to Again"
A Strong Defense: Avoiding The Lie
The best time to deal with a lie is before it turns into one. The following
is a technique for cutting a suspicion off at the pass before it turns
This is the method you use when you want the truth as it relates to a
persons previous behavior. Here is a possible scenario: a parent
suspects that her twelve-year-old son is smoking cigarettes.
Approach: I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around.
You know Im not happy about that, but I just want you to promise
me that you wont drink alcohol until youre twenty-one.
This is by far the finest approach because it works on so many levels.
First, it takes a forward assumptive stance the parent knows
all about the smoking. Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases
sneaking around and you know Im not happy about
that set the tone for honesty. The child hears two things that he
knows to be true: He was sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about
his smoking. He is therefore willing to accept at face value what follows.
Third, the mother gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise
not to drink and hes home free. Theres no threat or punishment,
just honest statements followed by a deal that he believes to be true
The guidelines to keep in mind for this procedure are as follows:
Assume your suspicion as fact
State at least two truisms (facts that you both know to be true)
Switch the focus from a threat to a request
The request should be easy for him to accept and sound reasonable
This method is used when you want the truth as it relates to a new decision.
It is a simple but highly effective strategy to avoid being deceived.
Oftentimes someone wants to tell us the truth, but its easier to
tell a lie instead.
The person knows the answer you want to hear and will give it to you whether
he believes it or not. However, if he doesnt know what you want,
then he wont be able to deceive you. Read the following examples
and notice how well the second phrasing masks your true question.
Would you like me to cook for you tonight?
Do you feel like eating in or out tonight?
Im thinking of asking Rhonda out. What do you think
of her? What do you think of Rhonda?
Know Thy Enemy: Knowing The Liar and His Intentions
The following example illustrates a process that is becoming very popular
in employee screening tests. The questions below are asked the prospective
employee to determine if he is an honest person. If you really wanted
the job, how would you answer these questions?
Have you ever stolen anything in your life?
Have you ever run a red light?
Do you have a friend who has ever shoplifted?
Many of us would have to answer yes to most of these questions. And that
is precisely the answer a prospective employee is looking for. Why? Because
the honest answer is yes for most of us. The employers task is finding
those who are honest about it. Stealing a pack of gum when you were twelve
years old doesnt make you a bad person or an undesirable employee.
Lets say that Marthas teenage son, who has been away from
home and living on the streets for the past two years, wants to come home.
Knowing that her son is addicted to cocaine, she is worried about whether
he can actually clean up his act. She could tell him that he can move
back in only if he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program. He will probably
agree to this whether he plans to do it or not. Instead, she tells her
son that he can move back in if he quits cold turkey never doing
another drug whatsoever. Her sons answer will reveal his commitment
to getting well, which is the real concern. Obviously her son can hardly
get rid of his addiction instantly. So if he indicates that he can, she
knows that hes lying about his intention to get well. However, if
he says that he cant but will make strides toward getting better,
she will know that he is sincere in his pursuit of wellness.
Techniques For Getting The Truth
This technique is very simple and has only two criteria. First, for maximum
effectiveness the command should start with an action verb, because youre
telling the mind to do something. Second, the entire command should be
separated from the rest of the sentence using what is called an analog
marker. You set the command portion off by one of the following:
1. Lower or raise the volume of your voice slightly while speaking the
2. Insert a short pause right before and then right after the command.
For instance, Sometimes we just
with what were reading.
3. Gesturing with your hand while you are the giving the command momentarily
distracts the conscious mind, and the embedded statement is received by
the unconscious mind as a command.
You give a suggestion that creates a perceivable action so you can observe
the signs of deceit without continuing to question him. Watch for the
behaviors that you embed in the sentences. They will usually occur at
some point during your conversation.
Im not saying that you should stiffen up your body
if youre lying.
I dont know if youre lying. Unless you feel like
blinking your eyes fast if you are.
like what youre reading
Its the old person who would lie versus the new person who would
never hurt you. In your conversation, continue to repeat phrases like
the ones below. Make sure that they contrast the old him and the new him.
Perhaps the old you was capable of this. But I know you would
never do that now.
Youre a different person than you used to be. Im
sure that youre even more upset with the old you than I am. But
youre not that person anymore.
Youre only responsible for who you are today. You are
someone who is honest and trustworthy.
This technique works on the following principle. When a person thinks,
he accesses different parts of his brain depending upon the information
that is being accessed. This process can be observed watching the eyes.
For righthanded people, visual memories are accessed by the eyes going
up and to the left. For a left-handed person, its the reverse: the
eyes go up and to the right. When a right-handed person seeks to create
an image or fact, his eyes go up and to right. And the reverse is true
for the left-handed person. You can use this technique in any conversation
to determine if the person is creating or recalling information. Simply
watch his eyes and youll know whether hes recalling an event
thats already occurred or making up a story about something that
has never happened.
Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases:
These conversation stoppers use phrases that are mild trance inducers.
They cause the listener to zone out temporarily while his brain tries
to process the information. They give you some time to collect your thoughts
while others lose their train of thought.
1. Why are you asking me what you dont know for sure?
2. Do you really believe what you thought you knew?
3. If you expected me to believe that, you wouldnt have said
4. Do you believe that you knew what you thought?
5. Why would you believe something thats not true?
6. Why are you agreeing with what you already know?
7. Are you unaware of what you forgot?
See For Yourself:
The power of expectation and suggestion can be used with tremendous results.
The key to using this technique is to implant an artificial suggestion
and let it manifest inside the persons mind. This technique may
induce a temporary state of mild paranoia, especially if two or more people
make the same suggestion.
Scenario: You think that a coworker has been stealing office supplies.
Samantha, have you noticed that people seem to be looking at you
a little funny? You can be sure Samantha will see everyone
looking at her, and it will consume her attention until she stops.
Of The Trade
These are the psychological secrets of the experts, the tricks of the
trade factors that can affect your judgement in objectively evaluating
Rule 1: Wow! Youre Just Like Me
Watch out when youre asked about your hobbies, hometown,
values, favorite foods, etc., only to be followed with the obligatory
Me too, what a coincidence.
Another aspect of this rule is that if someone is nice to us, we
not only like him more but also are more likely to agree with him. If
hes agreeing to everything you say, whether or not it makes sense,
Rapport creates trust. It allows the other to build a psychological
bridge to you. You feel more comfortable and your gullibility increases.
Take note if your movements, rate of speech or tone are echoed.
Rule 2: Beware the Stranger Bearing Gifts
When someone gives us something, we often feel indebted to him. When you
are presented with a request, make sure that youre not acting out
of a sense of obligation. This rule can take many forms its
not limited to gifts. You could be offered information, a concession,
or even someones time.
Rule 3: Its Half Price! But Half of What?
This principle states that facts are likely to be interpreted differently
based upon the order in which theyre presented. In other words,
we compare and contrast. An example of this principle are price markdowns.
An item thats been reduced from $500 to $200 certainly seems like
a better bargain than something that sells for $150. The contrast on the
sale item makes it more attractive, even if its not as nice as the
item that sells for less. The key is to only consider each decision by
itself. This can best be accomplished by letting time pass between decisions
and by independently determining the value of the object.
Rule 4: Just Do This One Little Thing For Me?
Beware if you are asked to commit to something, even in a small way. This
request is usually followed by a slightly greater request, and over time
your sense of commitment is built up to the point where you feel locked
into your decision. When you make decisions, notice if your best interests
are being served.
Rule 5: The Bandwagon Effect
This principle states that we have a tendency to see an action as appropriate
if other people are doing it. Do we think that something is funnier if
others are laughing? Absolutely. The key to avoiding the influence of
this rule is to separate your level of interest from other peoples
desire. Just because youre told that something is the latest, best,
hottest, or biggest seller doesnt make it right for you.
Rule 6: Rare Doesnt Always Mean Valuable
This principle states that the harder something is to acquire, the greater
the value we place on its attainment. In essence, we want what we cant
have and want what is hard to obtain even more. The key to avoid this
rule being used on you is to ask yourself this question: would I still
want it if there were a million just like it and no one wanted any of
Rule 7: Im on Your Side
This technique is used to gain credibility. When used effectively, you
would swear that youve just made a new best friend who has your
best interest at heart. For example, lets say that youre in
a mattress store and considering buying the Super Deluxe a top-of-the-line
bed. The salesman tells you that if you want it hell order it for
you, but he feels you should know something first. He tells you that while
the consumer would never realize it, this manufacturer uses recycled materials
on the inside. He has thus gained your complete confidence. Hes
risking a sale to tell you something that youd never find out otherwise.
Now youll be inclined to trust anything he says.
Rule 8: Well, Can You at Least Do This?
If youre asked to do a rather large favor for someone only to decline
his request for help, beware. A smaller favor, the one he really wants
you to do, may follow. We are more likely to agree to a smaller request
if were first presented with a larger one. There are three psychological
motivations at work:
You feel that in contrast to the first request, the smaller one
is no big deal.
You feel bad for not coming through on his original favor, and
this seems like a fair compromise.
You dont want to be perceived as unreasonable. A small little
favor isnt going to kill you.
is an excerpt from "Never Be Lied to Again," available in the
Underground Hypnosis package available at here: "Learn
the Underground Hypnosis Secrets of the World's Most Dangerous Hypnosists"