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to Influence and Understand Others with Body Language
Creator of The Mind Control Course
You've probably heard these expressions before. "Chin
up, shoulders back," "Keep your distance," "Feet
on the ground," "Pain
in the neck." But have you ever wondered how they came about? It
all has to do with Body Language.
Simply put, body language is the unspoken communication we all use in
every face-to-face encounter with other human beings. You could say it's
more powerful than anything said aloud.
Ninety-three per cent of our
everyday communications is non-verbal. Only 7% has to do with words at
all. You could be telling that other person much more with your body
language than you would ever say in words.
Determining and regulating your own body language could well mean the
difference when it comes to job interviews, networking meetings, banquets
and business dinners, or even a social occasion such as a date. Even
trickier is learning to read and understand the other person's body language.
So, you're probably asking yourself, "How do I regulate my body
language to give a true representation of how I feel when I interact
Start with the distance between you and the person with whom you're speaking.
If you get too close, people feel you're in their face, or too pushy.
Too far away, and you could be seen as standoffish.
The angle of your body is a dead giveaway to others. We tend to angle
our body towards those people we find friendly or interesting, and angle
away from those we feel are cold or unfriendly. Crossing your arms over
your chest shows defensiveness. This posture says, "I'm closed off
and keeping you out."
Eye Contact is one of the most important ways to communicate with others.
Looking them in the eye shows respect and interest. We've all experienced
the person who looks constantly at their watch, or seems to be far away
and not listening to us. Their body language says, "I have other
places to be and other more interesting people to talk to than you." Or
the person that you know is not listening to what you're saying, but
instead is busy deciding what he/she will say next. Someone whose eyes
are downcast, not looking you in the eye could be exhibiting signs of
shyness, or it could be deceit. Someone who is lying to you will not
look you in the eye.
The head position also says a lot. To show confidence or authority, simply
keep your head level. This says, "Take me seriously, my words are
important." To show friendliness and interest in what the other
person is saying, tilt your head slightly to one side or the other.
Mouth movements are easy clues to what the other person may be feeling.
If they purse their lips or twist them, they could be thinking carefully
about what you just said, or disagreeing with you, but holding back comment.
You can certainly tell when someone is not pleased.
The handshake is extremely important in the communication with others.
No one wants to shake a hand like a wet noodle; at the same time, a handshake
needn't be a contest of strength. It's a handshake, not arm wrestling.
Many people also don't quite know what to do with their hands after the
handshake, especially when meeting someone new. They tend to clasp their
hands together, nervously, or fiddle with their jewelry.
Since we're constantly sending out these powerful messages, it's clear
we should make an effort to learn more about what our bodies say to others.
And learning what others are really saying to us is of paramount importance
in our day-to-day communications.
So, chin up, shoulders back, keep your distance, head up, eyes sharp,
don't be pushy or standoffish, smile and shake that hand. You too can
learn to speak fluent body language.
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