The Miserable Way to Live Forever
Source: Thought Pollution
There is a program being sold online that claims to teach you 5 Ancient Tibetan Yoga moves that will vastly improve your health and possibly help you live longer. Okay, nothing too surprising there.
If you read that book you will discover that the 5 Yoga moves are “borrowed” from a much older book first published in 1939 called Ancient Secrets of the Fountain of Youth by Peter Kelder. Here is a short blurb from the book description to give you a taste of what we are up against.
I suppose in the 1930s these 5 yoga poses must have seemed wildly exotic to a bunch of British soldiers, but in today’s day and age I’m not sure we can assume that 5 yoga moves will make you live any longer than average.
How to Live Forever
It turns out the the Tibetan Yogis taught the British Colonel a secret method that any man (not sure if this will work for women… sorry ladies) can use to not just live longer, but, literally, live FOREVER!
And the secret is this:
Do Not Ejaculate.
You see, whenever a man ejaculates he loses a bit of his life force. Ejaculate regularly and you will die at a normal age like any regular dude who loves sex and masturbation.
But practice abstinence — not just from sex but from all ejaculation — and you will become immortal.
Sounds cool. But who the fuck wants to live without ever ejaculating? Not me… that’s for sure. And that’s why I call this “The Most Miserable Way to Live Forever.”
Good luck guys… and please let me know how it goes.