Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth Out of Anyone!
1: How to Tell If You Are Being Lied to
David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
Excerpts from "Never
Be Lied to Again"
In an ideal society there would be no need for lies. But we live in a
world of deception. And whether you want to play or not, youre in
the game. The question is, do you want to win?
Once you realize that youre being lied to, should you confront the
liar immediately? Usually not. The best approach is to note the fact in
your mind and continue with the conversation, trying to extract more information.
Once you confront someone who has lied to you, the tone of the conversation
changes and gathering additional facts becomes difficult. Therefore, wait
until you have all the evidence you want and then decide whether to confront
the person at that time or hold off to figure how you can best use this
insight to your advantage.
to Tell If You Are Being Lied To
The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is
lying to you will do everything to avoid making eye contact.
Physical expression will be limited, with few arm and hand movements.
What arm and hand movements are present will seem stiff, and mechanical.
Hands, arm and legs pull in toward the body; the individual takes up less
His hand(s) may go up to his face or throat, especially to the
mouth. But contact with his body is limited to these areas. He is also
unlikely to touch his chest with an open hand gesture. He may also touch
the nose or scratch behind the ear.
If he is trying to appear casual and relaxed about his answer,
he may shrug a little.
Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction
The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression
comes after the verbal statement (I am so angry with you right now
and then the angry expression), it looks false.
The head moves in a mechanical fashion without regard to emphasis,
indicating a conscious movement.
Gestures dont match the verbal message, such as frowning
when saying I love you. Hands tightly clenched and a statement
of pleasure are not in sync with each other.
The timing and duration of emotional gestures will seem off. The
emotion is delayed coming on, stays longer than it should, and fades out
Expression will be limited to the mouth area when the person is
feigning certain emotions happiness, surprise, awe, and so on
rather than the whole face.
When we are wrongfully accused, only a guilty person gets defensive. Someone
who is innocent will usually go on the offensive.
He is reluctant to face his accuser and may turn his head or shift
his body away.
The person who is lying will probably slouch; he is unlikely to
stand tall with his arms out or outstretched.
Theres movement away from his accuser, possibly in the direction
of the exit.
There will be little or no physical contact during his attempt
to convince you.
He will not point his finger at the person he is trying to convince.
He may place physical objects (pillow, drinking glass, et cetera)
between himself and his accuser to form a barrier, with a verbal equivalent
of I dont want to talk about it, indicating deception
or covert intention.
What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content
He will use your words to make his point. When asked, Did
you cheat on me? The liar answers, No, I didnt cheat
on you. In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction It
wasnt me instead of It was not me statistically,
there is a 60% chance he is truthful.
He may stonewall, giving an impression that his mind is made up.
This is often an attempt to limit your challenges to his position. If
someone says right up front that he positively wont budge, it means
one thing: He knows he can be swayed. He needs to tell you this so you
wont ask, because he knows hell cave in. The confident person
will use phrases like Im sorry, this is pretty much the best
we can do.
Watch out for the good old Freudian slip.
He depersonalizes his answer by offering his belief on the subject
instead of answering directly. A liar offers abstract assurances as evidence
of his innocence in a specific instance. Example: Did you ever cheat
on me? and you hear, You know Im against that sort of
thing. I think it morally reprehensible.
He will keep adding more information until hes sure that
he has sold you on his story. The guilty are uncomfortable with silence.
He speaks to fill the gap left by the silence.
He may imply an answer but never state it directly.
How Something Is Said
Deceitful response to questions regarding beliefs and attitudes
take longer to think up. However, how fast does the rest of the sentence
follow the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a fast no
or yes is followed quickly by an explanation. If the person is being deceitful
the rest of the sentence may come more slowly because he needs time to
think up an explanation.
Watch out for reactions that are all out of proportion to the question.
May repeat points that he has already made. May also be reluctant to use
words that convey attachment and ownership or possessiveness (that
car as opposed to my car).
The person who is lying may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous
and inexpressive voice. When a person is making a truthful statement,
he emphasizes the pronoun as much as or more than the rest of the sentence.
Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar
may be off. In other words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather
Statements sound an awful lot like questions, indicating that hes
seeking reassurance. Voice, head and eyes lift at the end of their statement.
We often see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If youre
being accused of something, check your accusers veracity. Watch
out for those people who are always telling you just how corrupt the rest
of the world is. Beware of those asking you if you believe him. They may
respond with, you dont believe me, do you? Most people
who tell the truth expect to be believed.
Look at whether his focus is internal or external. When a person
is confident about what hes saying, hes more interested in
your understanding him and less interested in how he appears to you.
In a liars story, he will usually not give the point of view
of a third party. To illustrate giving a point of view of someone else,
My roommate was so shocked that I would
In relating a story, a liar often leaves out the negative aspects
(unless the story is used to explain way he was delayed or had to cancel
plans). The story of a vacation, for example, should have both positive
and negative aspects of what happened.
A liar willingly answers your questions but asks none of his own.
For example, during their first intimate encounter, Randy asks his new
girlfriend if shes ever been tested for AIDS. She responds with
Oh, yes, certainly, and continues on a bit about annual checkups,
giving blood, etc. And then nothing! If she was concerned about her health,
as her answer implied, then she would have asked him the same question.
The liar is often unaware that coming across as truthful means both answering
and asking questions.
Indications of Deceit
When the subject is changed, hes in a better, more relaxed
mood. The guilty wants the subject changed; the innocent always wants
a further exchange of information.
He does not become indignant when falsely accused. While he is
being accused the liar will remain fairly expressionless. The liar is
more concerned with how he is going to respond than he is with the accusation
He uses such phrases as To tell you the truth, To
be perfectly honest, and Why would I lie to you?
He has an answer to your question down pat, such as giving precise
detail to an event occurring two months ago.
He stalls by asking you to repeat the question or by answering
your question with a question. Where did you hear that? Could
you be more specific? or even repeating your question back to you,
at an attempt at sounding incredulous. For example, Did I sell you
a puppy with a heart condition? Is that what youre asking me?
What hes saying sounds implausible, such as During
the past ten years, I have never used a specific racial epithet.
He offers a preamble to his statement starting with I dont
want you to think that
Often thats exactly what he wants
you to think. Whenever someone makes a point of telling you what theyre
not doing, you can be sure its exactly what they are doing. Such
as, Not to hurt your feelings, but
He implies through a form of denial. You hear, Hes
having marital problems, but it has nothing to do with his wifes
new job. Whats the first thing you ask? What does his
wife do? Suddenly youre in the exact conversation that is
supposed to have no bearing on the facts.
He uses humor or sarcasm to defuse your concerns, rather than responding
He offers you a better alternative to your request
when he is unable to give you what you originally asked for. Before you
accept someone at his word that he has something better to offer, first
see whether he has what you originally asked for. If he doesnt,
then you shouldnt believe him.
All of his facts relating to numbers are the same or multiples
of one another. Watch out when facts, figures, and information have unusual
There is evidence of involuntary responses that are anxiety based.
Anxiety causes many things. His breather may appear as a deep, audible
inhaling in an attempt to control his breathing to calm himself. Swallowing
becomes difficult; he may clear his throat. His ability to focus on something
is often diminished, unable to pay attention to whats going on.
He uses an obvious fact to support a dubious action. For example,
lets say that a guard is standing watch over a restricted area.
Its his job to check IDs of those who enter. Im
not sure you have authorization, he says to a man attempting access.
Im not surprised, answered the man, only a few
people are aware of my clearance level. My work here is not supposed to
be known by everyone.
He casually tells you something that deserves more attention.
He exclaims his displeasure at the actions of another who has done
something similar so that you will not suspect him. For instance, if he
is trying to throw you off track of his embezzlement scheme, he may openly
chastise another employee for borrowing some office supplies
for personal use at home. Your impression is that he is moral person who
objects to something as minor as stealing office supplies. Certainly he
cannot be responsible for a large-scale embezzlement scheme.
He may casually tell you something that should deserve more attention.
Oh by the way, Ive got to go out of town next weekend on business.
If he doesnt usually travel for work on the weekends, then you would
expect her to make a point of how unusual the trip is. Her downplaying
the trip makes it suspicious. When something out of the ordinary happens
and the person doesnt draw attention to it, it means that he is
trying to draw attention away from it. Another tactic is running off a
long list of items in the hope that one will remain unnoticed.
If he lies about one thing, everything he says is questionable.
His story is so wild that you almost dont believe it. But
you do, because if he wanted to lie, you think that he would have come
up with something more plausible.
is an excerpt from "Never Be Lied to Again," available in the
Underground Hypnosis package available at here: "Learn
the Underground Hypnosis Secrets of the World's Most Dangerous Hypnosists"
here for Part 2: Becoming a Human Lie Detector