6 Reasons Why Youíre Not Happy
Source: Return of Kings
Happiness: it’s what we all want as human beings no matter the differences in where we seek them. We are motivated to do things to be happy and we avoid things that may detract from it.
Even those who claim that they don’t care about happiness or that they’re living for a higher purpose is doing what they do because it makes them happy. In that way, happiness is beyond a state of feeling; it is a state of being.
Now, although you don’t want to be obsessive about happiness and make your life revolve around attaining it, there are few things you can do to live a more fulfilling life and improve the quality of your being. And as it’s often the case with self-improvement, I believe that addressing the bad habits will lead to a healthier life than trying to gain the positives.
Here are some ways you may be sabotaging your own happiness.
1. You are chasing it
Also, know that your mood will naturally fluctuate over time. Constantly obsessing over how you feel and getting stressed over your emotional state will not help you. So, rather than jumping from one thing to another in hopes that it will boost your mood or dull your pain, focus on things that matter to you. It’s far better to work on self-improvement and enhancing the overall quality of your life than be wavered by feelings.
2. You don’t have the basics taken care of
Ask yourself: Are you sleeping well (it’s harder to tell than you think)? Are you eating healthy? Are you keeping yourself fit? Are you getting enough sunlight? Do you ever take the time to connect with nature? Do you have a stable life? Do you have a purpose or a meaning? I doubt most people have all of these basic needs checked off. But I’m willing to bet that an improvement in even one area will significantly improve a person’s mood and well being.
3. You concern yourself with things you can’t control
4. You lack intimacy and deep human connection
In today’s society—especially in North America—it seems people have all become superficial and afraid of intimacy whether it be for friendship or romance. Without opening up your true self due to the fear of being rejected or ridiculed, all the relationships you have with others will not be genuine and it will not be fulfilling.
5. You are not living in the present reality
The lure of nostalgia and daydreaming of a better life or an improved world is actually quite insidious because of how intoxicating it is. When your mind drifts to imagining a pleasurable experience or a more exciting life, you are tricked into thinking that the longing is happiness itself, sort of like how mirages work.
On the contrary, studies have actually shown that you are actually happier (and more productive) when you focus on what you’re doing right now even if the task is boring. So, stick to the reality and forget about your fantasies. Either make things happen or accept that you’re just wasting your time and energy on wishful thinking.
6. You engage in junk activities
Ask yourself: do you really need entertainment? I’ve squandered my youth by immersing myself in long hours of digital entertainment day after day. I barely even noticed that I was unhappy the whole time because I was so sedated. And what did I even get out of them? Those were several hours everyday that I could have spent reading, working out, learning new skills, meeting new people, and experiencing the world.
The fact is, giving up on entertainment has no negative impact on your level of happiness. Sure, you might miss them when they’re suddenly gone, but overall, as long as you find more valuable things to do, your life can only get better when you ditch them. Learn to enjoy things that give you value rather than seeking enjoyment in things without value.
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